“In a community of love, less and less secrets means more and more chance to see how to serve each other, how to help each other, how to learn from each other, etc.” (H.H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami)

There has been much discussion lately within ISKCON and other Gaudiya Vaishnava groups concerning how to deal with those who are in third-gender or gay and lesbian bodies. Should they be dealt with openly and honestly in a compassionate manner, or should they be viewed with suspicion and kept in secrecy and silence? Which attitude will be healthier, both to the individual and to our society at large, and which will be more pleasing to Krsna?

At least one ISKCON temple, the Gita-nagari farm community, has decided to approach this issue with compassion and openness. Under the spiritual guidance of His Holiness Bhakti Tirtha Maharaja, this temple has decided that honesty is the best policy among Vaishnavas and that open discussion and compassion will do far more to encourage third-gender devotees in their spiritual lives than ignoring them or treating them with condescension and contempt.

His Holiness Bhakti Tirtha Swami gave the following lecture on May 15, 2003, at the Gita-nagari farm community in Pennsylvania. Maharaja is seated on a saffron-colored chair in the temple room and is surrounded by greenery and flowers. The beautiful Deities Sri Sri Radha-Damodara are to his left. He is wearing a white and lavender garland, and behind him is an open window from which the occasional cries of the temple peacocks can be heard. After leading a kirtana and reciting some prayers, Maharaja begins his lecture, some excerpts of which are recorded below:

Sri Sri Radha-Damodaraji ki jaya!

So, I think you know we talk about marriage, we talk sometimes about relationships and we also talk and discuss things about community. As a matter of fact we are looking closer and closer at the model that we have within ISKCON, moving from a monastic order to, basically, a congregational scheme. So there are many things to scrutinize to see how best we can please and serve Srila Prabhupada. The main way is to look at our personal lives, as individuals, up to this time in our Krsna consciousness, and try to see the many ways that we can become better devotees. One of the ways we can become better devotees is to look at how we can offer ourselves better in Krsna’s service by trying to communicate to each other as best as possible—this is the nature of healthy sadhu-sanga. We want to always try to access what is the siddhanta, the goal that we’re trying to attain, what constitutes being a proper sadhika, one who is following the sadhana practices, and in the community environment we try to revisit the individual as well as the institution, both in the present and in the legacy of antiquity.

Sometime back I gave a very interesting class in addressing the ideas of tritiya-prakriti or third gender, and trying to look at this in terms of what’s been given to us in our sastra, and also reflecting on ways of how we look at this in the present time. One member of our community wanted to share something, and I wanted to take advantage of addressing some issues in relationship to this person’s sharing, just kind of revisiting some things we’ve discussed, and because especially in the last few months, actually, in the last year or two, there’s been a lot of discussion taking place in the Vaishnava community on this issue. It has interesting dynamics. Like everything, it can be viewed in different ways. It can be addressed out of context and it can be categorized based on some of our previous experiences and understandings. We are who we are. We are all products of heredity and socialization from this life and many other lifetimes, and we often look at that to understand what we are trying to become. So Mohini wanted to share something, and then I’ll move on with the class, giving it in connection with some of the things that she wanted to share with the community. Is that all right Mohini? Since she asked me to speak to the community I thought this would be a good time, and then we’ll spend a few minutes discussing what she wants to offer to us.”

At this point Mohini-murti dasi, wearing a red and saffron sari, goes up to the microphone and pays her obeisances. She then begins to speak, rather meekly at first. Mohini: I don’t know what to say right now so I’m just going to speak from my heart, because I don’t have anything written down. First of all, I want to thank the devotees that I’ve talked to and who have been counseling me through this. I want to first of all thank His Holiness Bhakti Tirtha Swami, Mother Devavati, Mother Purana, Ajamila, Pariksit, Anasuya, Mother Laksmi and a few others, and yes, my spiritual master (His Holiness Ravindra Svarupa Maharaja) especially, for helping me through this whole process of becoming more vulnerable and truthful to the Vaishnavas about being a third-gender devotee within this community. This is a rather humbling and very difficult process for me to go through, to come to terms with being myself within this community, within following the four regulative principles, and being engaged in service. So, I would like to try to set the best example as possible, as a third-gender devotee in this community, and in that way become more Krsna conscious and help others also. Not to be stuck in a pigeonhole and be invisible, but be visible. Many of us have been stuck in a pigeonhole and died silently because of fear of scrutinization, bigotry and homophobia, or different sources of mental or physical abuse, or because of fear of being thrown out by someone who doesn’t really understand. Also in the past some third-gender people have come out in a very un-Vaishnava way. But I personally want to come out and be honest to the devotees. Bhakti Tirtha Maharaja and Mother Devavati have been counseling me. They will know my every move and my every endeavor in this process. There is nothing that will be unknown to the community either, because I want to be fully honest, and vulnerable, and try to perform devotional service as best I can, by the mercy of guru and Krsna and all the devotees here. Thank you.

Bhakti Tirtha Maharaja: Jaya! Vaishnava Thakura ki jaya! So, I want to use this as a topic today, just briefly, and then open up for discussion. In previous classes I shared how we often lump everyone who is in the gay community into a certain sector. We discussed how, when Lord Caitanya was born, Jagannatha Misra invited so many people to come and some of those who came to honor Lord Caitanya’s birth were called the natabaris. These natabaris, they were men, gay men, who were professional actors, performers, dancers, and it was considered that their presence was auspicious. Prabhupada, in one or two conversations, one major conversation where he was discussing this issue, says how in India there were special villages, special places, where such people lived and that they were also invited to various ceremonies—they were celibates, they were invited to various celibate ceremonies—and it was considered that their presence would bring blessings to the environment. There’s also the example, of course, about Arjuna. We may remember that when the Pandavas were exiled, Arjuna, as well as all of them, were surreptitious—they were in disguise—and Arjuna’s particular disguise, the word then used was “eunuch,” but it was understood that he was a man dressed as a woman, wearing woman’s clothing and adopting a woman’s mannerisms. When Maharaja Virata examined his character to see if he was going to invite Arjuna into the kingdom, he tested him to see if he was attracted to women, and of course his service was dressing women, and singing, and decorating their hair, etc. His name was Brihannala. So if this idea of third gender was something in itself demonic, or something in itself evil or whatever, then obviously Jagannatha Misra would never have invited such people to Lord Caitanya’s appearance, and the Pandavas would have never considered having Arjuna take that kind of involvement, nor would the king have investigated him to see if he was going to allow him to do this kind of work, or in Vedic times would such people be invited to various types of occasions, to live in certain villages, etc.

Now, I gave our initial discussion when we had a suicide in the community. One devotee in Potomac had committed suicide, and this person committed suicide mainly based on the anxiety and bewilderment of being in a body that was third gender and having difficulty trying to understand his role and position in devotional service. As a matter of fact, teenagers who are gay are four times more likely to commit suicide than other teenagers. So it’s an interesting issue to look at closer and try to gain better insight on the human condition, getting better insight in how to analyze the body so we can rise above the body. It’s an interesting issue because in today’s society there are so much social concerns about people trying to posit their rights and trying to find themselves—wanting to be valued. The reason suicide is on the rise and depression is on the rise has a lot to do with people having trouble in being truly valued and cared for.

There are certain patterns that differ from somebody born in Australia, somebody born in India, somebody born in Africa, which by recognizing it, we can move faster toward transcending it. And by not recognizing it, sometimes that person or the community or the environment, will have greater difficulty in understanding, supporting, and loving that particular person because they deny what that person’s life space, field of activities, or “battle of Kuruksetra” is at this particular time. We try to attain something by being able to move from where we are, and being able to attain it in such a way. Many third-gender Vaishnavas have been hurting inside from being in an environment where people assume to know how they think or what their present package really is in this lifetime. They feel the community would disown them, not appreciate them, or categorize them. Many Vaishnavas are hurting inside from being unable to feel more love in the community, from being unable to feel more Krsna conscious, and from having this secret that they feel they have to cover up constantly in such a way. Or from not being able to get help for whatever their particular issues are because they can’t really say to the temple president, or to the GBC, or to the guru or sannyasi, they can’t say, well look, I’m hurting in this way, I’m suffering in this way, or this is something I’m trying to deal with, something I’m trying to cope with, and so an intrical part of them is living sort of a lie, or living in secrecy. In a community of love, less and less secrets means more and more chance to see how to serve each other, how to help each other, how to learn from each other, etc. And so Krsna says in the Govardhana Hill story that Vaishnavas do not keep secrets, and Rupa Goswami explains in the process of priti—loving exchanges—that we should reveal our mind. Bhaktivinoda Thakura also shares that when we reveal our mind in community or in audience, it helps us to get more blessings, it gives us more protection, it helps us also to be more accountable. When we make a vrata or vow in public, it helps us to be more accountable.

There is a rising concern, outside of spiritual circles as well as inside of spiritual circles, for people who are in third-gender bodies and how to communicate their situation, to understand them, to offer value and to help them rise above whatever their particular concerns are as well as anybody else’s concerns. There’s also the tendency for people to exploit their identity whether straight, gay or whatever. Someone who has a manipulative, exploitative mentality will exploit that whether they are in a communistic, autocratic, or monarchical environment—whether they’re in commerce, education, politics or even religion—they have an exploitive mentality. So some people will exploit this in the sense of considering, “Well, yes, it’s in the Vedic sastra, it’s something that’s always been there, and therefore let me enjoy.” But Manu has given us ways, as well as our acaryas, how to refrain from illicit activities whatever our gender or environment is, and how to control the senses and not be slaves of the senses. Brhaspati has given us the Artha Shastra and Lord Siva and Nandi have given us the Kama Sutra where these kinds of things are all discussed in detail. Manu has given us the Dharma Shastra, and this is all a part of varnasrama-dharma—basic knowledge on how to be healthy humans both ethically and morally. And then of course we have the Bhagavata Purana, or we have bhagavata-dharma, which is helping us to become transcendental. We want to be hungry, eager and determined to embrace bhagavata-dharma while we try to understand the nature of this body and the material world.

There are different reasons why people are in different kinds of bodies, both in this life and in previous lifetimes, and why somebody finds themself in a package that’s third gender. Some of it is hormone and chromosomal arrangement, and some of it has to do with that person being blessed so that they could feel different, so that they could not feel themself a part of the world and become more interested in honoring the soul. Some of our sannyasis and others who are third gender have used this in a way to be more focused in their devotion, to be less situated in any kind of orthodox environment or mindset and to focus more on Krsna with celibacy. If we can be celibate, wonderful, we can simplify our lives and be focused just on addressing the soul. But that is rare—it is understood this is not ordinary—and so therefore Manu is giving ways on how to be first class. And if we can’t be first class, one has to understand what constitutes first class to come up to first class, and Manu let’s us know what is outside the boundaries, that is, not first, second, third, fourth, fifth class, but is a deviation. And we’ve had a chance to look at some of these things today, by looking at Krsna Himself saying in Bhagavad Gita 7.11, that He is sex life according to religious principles.

Since time immemorial there have been these kinds of classifications and there have been various ways how people can honor it in the right way, or also how people can exploit it, just as people exploit anything based on their consciousness and the modes of material nature that they’re in. There’s a good side to this in that individuals should not have to feel that they’re hiding something they’ve brought into this world, and that it’s also a part of their experience in Krsna consciousness in this lifetime. At the same time, people should understand what the higher goals are and try to acquire and attain such higher goals. So now, let’s see if anyone has any questions.