Unlike the Abrahamic religions, God has spared the Hindus the burden of His “perfect laws” revealed through imperfect prophets and subject to interpretation by imperfect self-appointed legislators operating in His name. Instead, He/She has bequeathed to us Dharma teachings based upon universal wheal and common sense.  The Mahabharata advises: “A wise man with a controlled mind should rely on reason to decide what is dharma and what is not (visvamitra-svapaca samvade).” The Bhagavad Gita (2.49) concurs: “Take refuge in reason.”

Some Parameters

There are four sources of Dharma or Sacred Law: “The Veda, tradition, the conduct of virtuous people and one’s own conscience: this is declared to be the distinct four-fold source of Dharma.” (Manusmriti 2.12) If one is seeking a dharmic teaching or injunction on any subject one should first consult the Vedas—if there is no clear injunction found there one may then consult the Law Books (Dharma Shastra).  Again if no clear injunctions or guidance is given therein, one may then consult the learned and pious people of the community and failing their lead, one should then follow one’s own conscience in the matter.

Another principle of Hindu Law is that the local laws, customs and traditions must prevail over Vedic Law: “Any (so-called) Dharma which will not later result in happiness and which is (generally) condemned in the world (loka-vikrusta) must be abandoned.” (Manusmriti 12.105-106) Yajnavalkya confirms this: “A (so-called) Dharma detested by the world (loka-vidvista) must not be practiced.” (Yajnavalkya-smriti 6.156) According to the Mahabharata, actions opposed by the generality of the people (loka-viruddha) are as sinful as those condemned by the Veda (veda-viruddha).

There is no universal consensus on any matter in Hinduism for the following three reasons:

1. Each sect is completely independent and has its own customs.
2. Each pontifical seat within each sect has complete independence.
3. Each guru of every sect has complete independence.

So let us proceed to discuss the matter of “gay marriages” (being defined as a marriage ceremony conducted for members of the same gender).

Definition of Marriage 

There are two ways of looking at the sacrament of marriage in a Hindu context: 

1) Marriage (vivaha) is the initiation of the bride into Dharma. 

There was a time when Hindu girls and boys both underwent the sacrament of initiation (upanayana) and received the sacred thread and also undertook the study of the Veda.  Since the time of Manu and most of the other Lawgivers, girls were exempt from Vedic study and therefore formal initiation therein.  The marriage ceremony then became her formal induction ceremony into the Dharma practice.  Many of the ceremonies that are performed at the time of a boy’s initiation by his guru are repeated in the wedding ceremony with the groom acting as the “guru” and the bride the “shishya” or student.  For example:

• presenting a set of clothing
• the holding of hands
• the stepping on the grinding stone
• applying the mangala-sutra as the substitute for the sacred thread

When this reasoning is applied then it is essential that the groom undergo the formal initiation ceremony (upanayana) before his marriage; he then has the right to initiate his wife into the grhastha asrama or estate of the householder. 

2) Marriage (panigrahana) is the formal union of a couple for the purpose of procreation.

Producing offspring is a duty to the ancestors and necessary for the continuation of the lineage and a requirement for one’s own post mortem obsequial offerings (sraddha).

Marriages in modern Hindu society are of both types, the former being prevalent among brahmanas and the latter among non-brahmanas.  Generally speaking, the purpose of marriage as declared in the marriage contract (kanya-dana sankalpa) is:

• praja—offspring for the liberation of the ancestors
• sahatva—companionship
• karma—the performance of social and religious duties for the benefit of society and the world

According to the Apastambiya vivaha paddhati, the groom takes the bride’s hand and says, “I take your hand for well-being…”

The case for offspring is also made during the crucial and decisive part of the ceremony when the couple takes seven steps together.  Some paddhatis have the fifth step associated with offspring and some of them have it associated with investments (cattle).

The homam that is done is also an invocation of the grace of the gods for good offspring and the couple is also blessed with many children.

The Eight Types of Marriage

1) Brahma (Creator) Rite

“The presentation of a daughter, well-bedecked in ornaments and clothing to a man learned in the Veda and of good conduct who has been invited and duly honored is known as the Brahma rite.” (Manusmriti 3.27)

“At the Brahma marriage, [the father] shall five away [his daughter] for procreation and performing the duties that must be performed together [by a householder], after having investigated [the bridegroom’s] family, character, learning and health, and after having given [to the bride] ornaments according to his power.”  (Apastambha Dharmasutra 2.6.11.17)

2) Daiva (Divine) Rite

“At the wedding called Daiva, [the father] shall give her to an officiating priest, who is performing a srauta sacrifice. (Manusmriti 3.28; Apastambha Dharmasutra 2.6.11.19)

3) Arsha (Sagely) Rite

“At the marriage called Arsha, the bridegroom presents to the father of the bride a bull and a cow.” (Apastambha Dharmasutra 2.6.11.18)

“The presentation of a daughter according to the rule, to a groom (who wishes to fulfill his religious duties) who gives a pair of cattle—a bull and cow in return; is known as the Arsha rite.” (Manusmriti 3.29)

4) Prajapatya (Lord of Beings) Rite

“The presentation of a daughter well-adorned, according to the rule with the recitation of the text ‘may both of you perform together your duties,’ to a groom who has been duly honored, is called the Prajapati rite. (Manusmriti 3.30)

5) Asura (Jealous God) Rite

“The acceptance of a maiden by the groom after having given as much wealth as he could afford to the kinsmen of the bride of his choosing is called the Asura rite.”  (Manusmriti 3.31)

“If a suitor pays money [for his bride] according to his ability, and marries her [afterwards], that [marriage is called] the Asura rite.”  (Apastambha Dharmasutra 2.6.12.1)

6) Gandharva (Heavenly) Rite

“The Gandharva rite is that in which the couple meet each other of their own accord and the meeting is consummated in copulation born of mutual passion.” (Manusmriti 3.32)

“If two lovers unite themselves through mutual passion, that is called the Gandharva rite.” (Apastambha Dharmasutra 2.6.11.20)

7) Rakshasa (Demonic) Rite

“If the [bridegroom and his friends] abduct [the bride] after having overcome [by force] her father [or relations], that is called the Rakshasa rite.”  (Manusmriti 3.33; Yajnavalkya-smriti 1.61)

8) Pisacha (Ghostly) Rite

“The seduction or rape of a sleeping, intoxicated or deranged girl who is incapable of protecting her virtue is the lowest and most sinful rite known as Ghostly. (Manusmriti 3.27-34)

The last two are expressly forbidden although considered as “marriages” for the sake of legitimizing the offspring of such unions.

The Case Against Marriage

In view of the above it is difficult to make the case for gay “marriage” (vivaha, panigrahana, udvaha, etc.) as the Hindu context is especially for the sake of offspring—all the forms of legal marriage are the union of a man and a woman.

Reciting sacred texts in support of offspring for a same-sex couple is not an option without the intervention of a third party, which then mitigates the principle of monogamy.  The sacred texts expressly refer to the couple themselves procreating without the assistance of a third party.  Therefore the vivaha samskara per se can only be performed for heterosexual couples that are desirous of offspring.

The Case In Favor of Commitment Ceremonies

Although vivaha per se cannot be performed for same-sex couples there is the option of a commitment ceremony or a sacred union.  There are hints at such ceremonies in the sacred literature. The first such ceremony is found mentioned in the Kaushitaki Brahma Upanisad: 

Now the intense longing of love stimulated by the gods:

If one should desire to become beloved of a man or of a woman or of men or of women, at one of these same points of time, having built up a fire, he offers in exactly the same manner, oblations of melted butter, saying:

“Your speech I sacrifice in me, you so and so; Hail!”

“Your vital breath I sacrifice in me, you so and so; Hail!”

“Your eye I sacrifice in me, you so and so; Hail!”

“Your ear I sacrifice in me, you so and so; Hail!”

“Your mind I sacrifice in me, you so and so; Hail!”

“Your intelligence I sacrifice in me, you so and so; Hail!”

Then having inhaled the smell of the smoke, having rubbed his limbs over with a smearing of the melted butter, silently he should go forth and desire to approach and touch [the person] or he may simply stand and converse with him from windward.  He becomes beloved indeed.

                        (Kaushitaki Brahma Upanisad 2.4)

 

A commitment ceremony is actually described in the Ramayana: 

Sugriva said to Rama, “If You desire my friendship here I extend my hand, take my hand into Yours, thus let us confirm the bond.” 

Rama was elated to hear all those words said by Sugriva, and then grasping Sugriva’s hand in his, took a vow of friendship and they joyfully embraced each other very firmly.

Then the vanquisher of enemies, Hanuman, discarding the guise of an ascetic, assumed his original monkey form and proceeded to produce the sacred fire by attrition.  He then kindled the fire, decorated and worshiped it with flowers, then joyfully and devoutly placed that fire in between Rama and Sugriva.

Then Rama and Sugriva performed circumambulations of that blazing ritual fire and thus entered into a pact of friendship.

And then gladdened at heart were those two, that monkey and Raghava.  They gazed long at each other eye-to-eye, but were not satiated.

Sugriva said to Raghava with great joy, “You are my beloved friend; henceforth our joy and sorrows are the same for us.”

(Valmiki Ramayana 4.5.11-18)

 

In view of the fact that Rama is “maryada purusottama,” that is, an exemplar of good conduct, there is no objection to us following His example and performing commitment ceremonies for same-sex couples who wish to confirm their bond to each other in a sacramental format.

According to Hindu custom and astrological direction, certain individuals who have negative prospects for their first marriage with secondary marriages indicated, are first married to a pot (kumbha-vivaha) or to a tree.  This constitutes their primary marriage; they are then divorced from the said tree or pot and remarried to a real person.  If this custom is perfectly acceptable to the right-wing orthodox, why then is a real commitment ceremony between two loving and committed individuals condemned?

 

Summary

In all modern democratic Western societies homosexuality is perfectly acceptable and in fact legal, there are laws prohibiting discriminating against homosexuals.  There are openly gay politicians, high court judges, lawyers, doctors, actors, policemen, sportsmen and women, teachers and clergy, etc.  They all pay taxes and are entitled to full protection under the law and to access all the privileges available to all other tax-paying members of the community.  Since the generality of people in the West accept gays as they are and object to discrimination based on gender orientation, and there are laws legalizing and protecting gay rights, any objection that we may have on a spurious “Dharma” basis can be overridden.

Many gays enter into a mutual domestic arrangement and live together as couples for as long as heterosexual couples do.  Many heterosexual couples choose not to legalize their union and live in a de facto relationship that in most countries has the same recognition under the law as formal marriage.

Now many countries in Europe have legalized same-sex civil unions, a few states in the U.S.A. and Australia are following this trend.  There are a number of churches and synagogues that already offer “blessing” ceremonies for same-sex couples.  As this becomes increasingly acceptable, more and more of the expatriate Hindu communities are going to be affected by this trend.  The young gay Hindu men and women are going to be requesting commitment or blessing ceremonies and we as elders, leaders and priests of the Hindu community need to clarify our position on this matter and be ready with a positive and constructive response.

Whatever our personal views are on homosexuality, we need to make our decisions regarding others based on Dharma and not upon personal preferences. The Dharma “key words” in this debate are:

• ahimsa—non-injury in word, deed or thought.
• advesha—non-prejudice against any being.
• maitri—friendship; a loving kindness that embraces others.
• karuna—compassion that takes the form of alleviating the suffering of others.
• mudita—empathetic joy, rejoicing in the happiness of others.
• sama-drshthi—seeing the divine in all beings alike.
• loka-sangraha—ensuring the welfare of the entire society and world.

The final sukta of the Rg Veda is the Prayer for Unity and harmony in society:

Meet together, talk together, and let your minds comprehend in harmony as the ancient gods, concurring, accepted their portion of the sacrifices.

May you pray together in harmony, may you strive for common goals with a common purpose, and may you have associated desires.  I repeat for you a common prayer; I offer for you a common oblation.

United be your intention, united be your hearts, united your thoughts, so that there may be a thorough harmony among you.

(Rg Veda 10.191.2-4)